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Queen Bitch
Queen Bitch

Number of posts : 150
Age : 30
Location : Rockin with Poison in August!!
Custom Title : Too impatient for boyfriends that I know better than
Quote : WARNING: Do yourself a favor and DON'T piss me off
Registration date : 2006-12-09

Office Memo Empty
PostSubject: Office Memo   Office Memo Icon_minitime01/06/07, 02:16 pm

Office Memo
> Dear Staff,
> It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary.
> If we see you wearing Prada sneakers and carrying a Gucci Bag we assume
> you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise.
> If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so you

> may buy nicer clothes and therefore you do not need a raise.
> If you dress in-between, you are right where you need to be and therefore
> you do not need a raise.
> **********************************************************************
> Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called
> Saturday and Sunday.
> Skinny People get 30 minutes for Lunch, as they need to eat more so that
> they can look healthy.
> Normal size people get 15 minute for Lunch to get a balanced meal to
> maintain their average figure.
> Fat people get 5 minutes for Lunch, because that's all the time needed to
> drink a Slim Fast and take a diet pill.
> We will no longer accept a Doctor's statement as proof of Sickness. If
> are able to go to the Doctor, You are able to come to work.
> Entirely too much time is being spent in the restrooms. There is now a
> strict 3-minute time limit in the stalls.
> At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, toilet paper roll will
> retract, the stall door will open and a picture will be taken.
> After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company
> bulletin board under the "Chronic Offender" category.
> As long as you are employed here, you need all your organs. You should not

> consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have something removed

> constitutes a breach of Employment.
> Thank you for your Loyalty to our company.
> We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all
> Questions, Comments, Concerns, Complaints, Frustrations, Irritations,
> Aggravations, Insinuations, Allegations, Accusations
> Contemplation, Consternation and Input should be directed elsewhere.

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